![]() He’s a grownup, after all, and he also has eyes. There is nothing sexy about having to constantly bother someone about what to do in their own home. I want him to always look at me with admiration, lust, and love. Nothing would make me happier than to spend every day of the rest of my life with him. I actually do love my husband to the ends of the earth. Nagging my husband only seems to make him shut down entirely, and then I feel bad for asking. ![]() I’m a middle-aged, vibrant, loving woman who never wanted to be compared to any man’s mother. He can roll his eyes at my requests all he wants, but I’m not going to be part of him making me a nagging wife. Maybe that’s part of the problem, but I refuse to play the bitch in this situation. I really try not to complain or nag him about things. I wonder if I’ve trained him to be this way by doing everything that needs to be done to keep the peace however, there is no peace when I start to feel resentful. Part of it is my fault because it’s just easier to pick up after him rather than wait for him to do it. I’m fine with that except when it feels like he’s working against me, leaving a mess on something I just cleaned. He works full-time where I only work part-time, so I understand that I’m the one who has more time for cleaning. My husband has a job, but I also have a job. I don’t want him looking at me like he’s browbeaten and harassed. I don’t want to be the only one who does all the laundry, including towels and sheets. I don’t want to pick up things that he just left behind and didn’t throw away. I don’t want to tell him to pick up his dirty clothes from the bathroom floor. Meanwhile, our house smells like disgusting smoke, and it’s just dumb luck that the landlord hasn’t stopped by. I don’t like women who do that, but it’s what I’ve turned into to get anything done. He seems to have a mental block about this as if he doesn’t like being nagged and is acting out being rebellious. I’ll ask him to do it only to watch him slide it halfway or three-quarters of the way closed. It’s been completely frustrating because my husband never ever slides the door all the way closed. ![]() Our landlord warned us never to smoke inside the house, so when we go out there, we need to slide that door closed so smoke doesn’t get in. We have an ongoing debate about our sliding glass door that leads out to the patio. That failed miserably when I discovered he didn’t really seem to notice that much. ![]() Believe me, I’ve tried that trick of just letting everything pile up so he gets sick of it and helps me. Eight years later, it’s pretty clear how my husband felt about sharing the burden with me. “We haven’t really talked about dividing up chores,” I told him one night. In fact, he made tidying up somewhat more difficult by leaving stuff laying around the house. Only after I was finished did I realize that my husband hadn’t really been cleaning anything at all. We wanted to start fresh, so I went to town cleaning the entire place and adding feminine touches where possible. The weekend I moved into my husband’s house before we were married, everything seemed to be great. ![]()
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